Ways to Maintain Insanity

Funnies
  • Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it "In". 
  • Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks.  Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 
  • In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write " For Smuggling Diamonds". 
  • Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy". 
  • Don't use any punctuation. 
  • As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 
  • Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 
  • Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go". 
  • Sing Along At The Opera. 
  • Go To A Poetry Recital.  And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme? 
  • Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day. 
  • Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood. 
  • Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom. 
  • When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!  I Won!" 
  • When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives!  They're Loose!" 
  • Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go." 
  • And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.
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