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Funnies
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A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful, elderly poodle named Cuddles along for company. One day Cuddles starts chasing butterflies, and before long, discovers he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!" |
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Funnies
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EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY
Day number 180
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE! |
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Funnies
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Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity... - At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
- Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
- Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, a sk If They Want Fries with that.
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Funnies
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The Lone Ranger and Tonto were camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto awakens the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe, look towards sky; what you see?"
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Funnies
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Here are 16 error messages reportedly seen on the computer screens in Japan, where some are written in Haiku. Aren't these better than "your computer has performed an illegal operation"?
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Funnies
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Are you looking for ways of handling stress? Here are ten possibilities: - Drive to work in reverse.
- Make popcorn without putting on the lid.
- When someone tells you to enjoy the day, tell them you have other plans.
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Funnies
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This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)
Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)
If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island . If you don't have sea all round you, you are incontinent. (Wayne age 7)
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